U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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