I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
