I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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