She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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