is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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