Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
