At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
