so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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