i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
