Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
