can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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