Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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