its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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