Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
