If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
