@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
he was CRYING into my vagina
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
