college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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