You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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