I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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