Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
