Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
