Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Randomize
