i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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