he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
