another moral hangover. fuck.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
