it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
