i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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