The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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