there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
