a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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