how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
