The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
