I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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