If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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