HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
