names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Dick very happy bro
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
