I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
