if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
