This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
