forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
