the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
