So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
