We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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