i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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