I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
