A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
