maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
