There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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