If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i would punch a child for taco bell
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
