Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
The beers last night were like the tears from god
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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