dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
