Only a mothe r could love this liver
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
