I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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