I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
