Dual....:-)
Can i not drive my cunt home
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
