I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
This is my gift to your gina
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
