we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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