I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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