White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
