hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
