Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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