Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
