you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
