On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
