We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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