# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize