after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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