He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
